


And Now I Dance Alone

by kipsip



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Sad, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-22 20:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8299024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kipsip/pseuds/kipsip
Summary: Gerard didn't like dancing; but now he missed it more than ever. 
Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Suicide - Read at your own risk.





	

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a prompt i saw on tumblr !!

Gerard padded through the quiet house, the sounds of the air conditioner filling the silent air. There was no cluttering noises in the kitchen. There was no ruffling of blankets in their- his room. Not a peep. Only the sounds of his feet hitting the fine wooden floor.

The house was dead. Boxes scattered about the floor, blinds closed, and dust collecting. It had only been a week.

A week since Gerard died.

Not all of him. He was still physically alive. But everything that once made him whole had been ripped out of him, only leaving an ache of disbelief.

Frank was dead, and so was he.

Without warning, Gerard's legs gave out and he sank on the couch, sobbing into his hands. Only tomorrow he would be in their- fuck, his car with all these boxes shoved in every place he could put it. He would be leaving behind memories. Love. Frank.

And then suddenly Gerard didn't want to leave the house that caused him such pain. Seeing the guitar on his bed; the photos in frames; the silly drawing Frank had put there on the dry erase calendar.

He wanted to take them all and live in a dark room and just stay there. But he couldn't. He had to go back to his mother's house, all the way in New Jersey.

It was their dream to spend their life in California. Now it was Gerard's dream, and it only buzzed through his mind with a dull ache in his stomach. He was fucking angry.

Why did Frank do this? By doing this, he was leaving behind Gerard and their dreams and hopes and goals. There wasn't even a damn note!

And Gerard was sobbing pathetically again, just wallowing in his pain.

The world was empty, now.

After what seemed like hours, but was only a few minutes, he stood. Blankly, he headed to the small stereo they use to mess with. Gerard barely knew how to work it, but he managed to eject the old CD and put in another.

He leaned against the back of the couch as a song began to play, and he inhaled. This was one of Frank's favourites.

A memory flashed through his mind.

On the couch. Frank messing in the kitchen. Gerard watching the television. Music playing from the stereo. A hand in Gerard's hair.

"Dance with me."

Gerard saying no. Frank pouting and insisting. Gerard giving in and standing, heading around the couch in front of Frank. Lacing fingers. Awkward movements at first. Hot breath.

Silly wiggles and squirms and kisses. Smiles and laughter. The smell of food in the kitchen. Some rock band filling their ears. Hearts swelling with love.

Gerard felt sick as his body felt cold. His hands ached. His legs shook. His breath hesitating.

God, he missed Frank. His eyes burned with tears as he murmured self-pitying pleas.

But Frank would never be back. There would never be another dance.

And now Gerard dances alone.

//

The morning came and Gerard solemnly put his things into his car. It would be a long drive.

Frank wanted to go on a road trip. Gerard postponed it. The black haired man felt his throat swell as he thought, "I wish I packed us up in the car and drove us everywhere."

Soon, every box he packed was in the car. The furniture stayed, but the apartment management would deal with that.

Gerard went into their bedroom and saw their shared bed. So many memories. So much love. So much pain. He sat on Frank's side of the bed. It was still made the way it was a week ago.

The closet was empty. Even Frank's clothes were packed up. His nicknacks and treasured items packed more carefully, so Gerard could give them to Frank's mother. He kept a few personal ones, vowing to hold onto them for years to come.

Gerard inhaled. This room use to smell like Frank's cologne. The bathroom use to smell like his hair gel and toothpaste. Now the house smelled like emptiness. He would be leaving his life behind. This was suppose to be forever, but forever apparently had an expiration date.

A broken, shaky sob escaped the young man's lips. They were gonna get married. Buy a house with a yard. Adopt kids. Get a dog or fuckin' thirty. He didn't care. He wanted Frank back. He wanted to hold him. He wanted to make him happy. He wanted to know why Frank fucking shot himself.

The funeral would take place in Belleville.

He sobbed harder and harder until he was just laying against Frank's pillow, shaking and sniffling and clutching down on the pillowcase. He inhaled slowly.

It smelled like him.

His heart ached. He couldn't cry anymore. He had to get to New Jersey and get this done. Then he could cry much more.

Gerard stood, clutching the pillow, as he walked through the life-vacant home. Not much of one anymore.

The black haired man made his way to the parking garage, holding the pillow tight. He unlocked his car and sat in, organising the stack of Frank's CD's in the middle compartment. The stereo was somewhere in the boxes, which relieved Gerard.

He picked up one of the CD's and read it. Recognising it as the CD Frank was playing when they danced in the kitchen, he slipped it into the slot of his car stereo and started the engine.

After a few moments, the first song began to play. Nostalgia nearly sickened him, but he drove. Away from the parking garage. Away from their- goddammit, his apartment, from the diner they would go to every Saturday morning, from his past's future.

As he followed the directions of the GPS, he swayed along to the music, imagining Frank's hands on his. His breathy laughs against his cheek. Playful kisses on his face and neck. Soft "you're horrible at dancing"s and other reading words echoed through his mind. His eyes slipped shut, remembering Frank's voice. It was so distant now. The music faded, for Frank's laughs filled his ears.

Gerard smiled to himself, but it didn't last long, for his skull was colliding with the steering wheel as his car jerked into another.

And now Gerard dances alone.


End file.
